Theriot Responds to Steriod Rumors

Ryan Theriot is a light-hitting Chicago shortstop who hit just one home run in all of 2008, but has inexplicably blasted five home runs so far in May. Naturally, rumors have now surfaced that Theriot's two-week power surge is steroid-driven have surfaced. Theriot responded to those rumors today in Tribune Hard Ball, the Chicago Tribune's baseball blog.

Cub manager Lou Pinella chimed in as well with this gem:

Theriot laughed, but manager Lou Piniella didn't find the accusations comical at all, calling them "absurd" and "crazy."

"Isn't that crazy?" Piniella said. "Look, when the wind is blowing out at Wrigley and you can show some bat speed and get the ball up in the pull field, you're going to get rewarded.

"The biggest problem with the steroid thing is not that the people took steroids. It's that the people that haven't get tainted, along with everyone else... And that's why, truthfully, when they named Alex (Rodriguez), I thought it was unfair. They should've named all 103 (players who tested positive in 2003).

"Look, if I were clean, I would want to let people know I was clean, so if I hit a few home runs people wouldn't look at me like 'Is this guy Popeye, or what?'

Meanwhile, in a response to this response, Amy Longmeyer of the National Spinach Growers Association protested Pinella's suggestion that a vegetable as wholesome, nutritious and tasty as spinach is among Major League Baseball's banned substances. "It is irresponsible for Mr. Pinella to suggest that spinach is somehow associated with improper or banned subtances," an indignant Ms. Longmeyer stated at the NSGA's headquarters in Leaf, Iowa. "We demand an apology."